When your baby is first born, you worry if they’re getting enough food and hitting those important milestones. Then they hit toddler status and you’re faced with a whole new set of challenges.
Temper tantrums, picky eaters and potty-training problems are all part of the toddler experience but how do you know if you’re doing things right?
Dr. Ari Brown is a pediatrician and author of the new book, Toddler 411. She says toddlerhood can cause major conflict when parents try to set limits and teach good behavior.
Dr. Brown says, "When a child turns one, it becomes mentally exhausting, because they’re so many behavioral issues that parents encounter when a child is seeking independence and trying to be in control of his world.”
Lisa and Karl Shackelford have four children and three of them are toddler-age.
Lisa says, "We generally only have one fallout at a time. But I have to say as they’re getting older and become more independent, they’re becoming more strong-willed.”
But there are solutions to help steer the strong-willed.
Dr. Brown says, "If you don’t consider whining or temper tantrums as a form of communication, then it isn’t a form of communication. But if you respond, then the child has just succeeded and you’ve just validated that whining.”
Parents of picky eaters wonder how their children can possibly be eating enough. Surprisingly, experts say most children get the nutrients they need.
"So, they may decide once every three days that they’re really hungry, or they may only eat one good meal in a 24 hour period. But at the end of the day or at the end of the week, they really do get the nutritional needs met,” Dr. Brown says.
The Shackelford's take each day in stride and know that while toddlerhood isn’t always easy, it isn't forever.
Fast Facts:
A child undergoes significant changes from infancy through the toddler years.
As two and three-year-olds explore and strive to establish independence, their behaviors and reactions for guidance and discipline can cause stress and anxiety for even the calmest parents.
Supplemental Resources
The Transition from Infancy to the toddler Years
During the first year of life, a baby grows dramatically. At 15 months, a boy weighs about 24 pounds and is 31 inches tall. A girl of the same age is about 22 pounds and 31 inches tall. By the age of two, a boy averages 28 pounds and is about 36 inches tall. The average two-year-old girl weighs 27 pounds and is 34 inches tall.
There is significant social and emotional development during the toddler years. Toddlers are very self-centered individuals and have great difficulty understanding the feelings or needs of others. They may play with friends but are likely to compete for attention and toys. They also don’t understand the concept of “sharing.”
As the toddler starts to explore, he/she begins to develop some sense of independence. The yearning for self-reliance creates conflicting emotions for the toddler, who also has a strong need to feel safe and comfortable. On top of the emotional extremes, a toddler still doesn’t have the capability to fully express his/her needs. That can lead to some very strong reactions, like anger, outbursts, temper tantrums, or physical acts, like hitting, biting or kicking.
Help for Parents
There is good reason many people refer to the toddler years as the “terrible two’s” and “trying three’s.” Ari Brown, M.D., a Pediatrician, says toddlers are busy exploring and learning and have no sense of danger or understanding of inappropriate behaviors. Parents, on the other hand, are concerned about safety, setting limits and teaching manners. The opposing points of view can lead to emotional swings and unpredictable behaviors that can frazzle the most even-tempered parent.
For example, temper tantrums are a common method of communication for young children. Parents who give in simply validate the behavior as a form of communication. Instead, Brown recommends parents ignore the behavior or ask a child to make his/her needs clear.
Picky eating is another concern for many parents. Brown says children’s growth slows dramatically during the toddler years and the need for calories decreases. Children who don’t appear to eat may simply not be hungry. Generally, children get all the calories they need. It’s also common for a child to ask for the same food at every meal for days on end and then suddenly change their preferences. Focus on healthy snacks and don’t pressure children to eat certain foods or entice them with a dessert reward.
Toilet training is a big challenge for many parents. Brown says children can’t reasonably be potty trained until they develop a personal desire to be clean and understand the body signals associated with the need to use the bathroom. Signs a child is ready for toilet training are hiding when soiling a diaper and asking a parent for a diaper change. In fact, Brown says if a parent waits until a child shows those signs, toilet training can often be accomplished in one day.
Brown has co-authored a book, called Toddler 411, to provide information and help guide parents through the toddler years. The book covers growth and developmental issues, behavioral problems, play time, toilet training, sleep issues, picky eating and recognizing attention deficit disorder and other problems. Brown also discusses the need for well-child visits, immunizations and booster shots, first aid, common infectious diseases, organic foods, environmental concerns and alternative medicine.
Web Resources
Toddler 411
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