Just Between Friends

It is perfectly normal and healthy to have children form friendship groups. It is a part of learning how to build relationships. However, sometimes these groups become so restricted that they become cliques and problems can arise.

It isn’t always easy to talk to your child about cliques. You want to protect the little people in your family, so here are a few things you can teach your child as they build friendships and form a circle of friends.

• Discuss with your child your families values, beliefs, and interests. As much as your child might want to belong to a certain group, ask your child if they have the same morals. Think of examples and guide their thinking to help your child figure out if that is the best group for them.


• Make sure your child is involved in activities that they choose and enjoy. Your child should not be playing a sport or participating in activities because “other children are doing it.” Every child has different strengths and interests. Find what’s best for your child.


• Help your child keep their social circles open and diverse. Have your child invite a new friend over to the house or park for a play date. Consider new friends from all activity groups in which your child participates.


• Teach your child to speak up. If your child doesn’t like what’s happening in their circle of friends, they need to tell a teacher, school counselor, or a parent. Explain to your child that others may want to speak up but are afraid to do so. They will be a great role model, leader, and friend by speaking up.


• Teach your children to think for themselves. Each person is responsible for their own actions. Being sensitive to others and not always going along with others is an important trait to possess. Your child needs to learn that true friends will respect your thoughts and actions.

As with other important issues with our children, taking time to discuss your child’s day is extremely important. Whether talking at dinner, while driving in the car, or before bed - find the time!

Also, inviting their friends to the house can give you a good sense of who their friends are and who they are spending time with. You can learn a lot by talking to and observing your child and their friends.

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